Book Summary How to win friends and influence people

Timeless advice on building relationships and achieving success.

30 Key takeaways:

  1. Don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, understand and forgive.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Make people feel important and valued.
  3. Appeal to another person's interest. Talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
  4. Become genuinely interested in other people. Show interest in their background and goals.
  5. Smile. A smile makes you instantly likable.
  6. Remember that a person's name is important. Use their name and remember it.
  7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  8. Talk in terms of the other person's interest. Research their interests and goals beforehand.
  9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely. Avoid demeaning them.
  10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Find areas of agreement and avoid hostility.
  11. Begin in a friendly way. A hostile attitude invites reciprocal hostility.
  12. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "you're wrong."
  13. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. This disarms the other person and encourages forgiveness.
  14. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Encourage them to express their ideas fully.
  15. Honestly try to see things from the other person's point of view. Consider their ideas and feelings as important as your own.
  16. Be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires. Show empathy and understanding.
  17. Start with questions to which the other person will answer "yes." This helps avoid defensiveness.
  18. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. People like their own ideas better.
  19. Appeal to the nobler motives. Tap into their higher moral principles.
  20. Dramatize your ideas. Capture attention by making your ideas vivid and interesting.
  21. Throw down a challenge. Tap into people's competitive spirit.
  22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation. It's easier to listen to unpleasant things after hearing praise.
  23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. Avoid direct attacks and resistance.
  24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. This shows empathy and understanding.
  25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. This encourages independent thinking and creativity.
  26. Let the other person save face. Allow them to preserve their pride.
  27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. This inspires further improvement.
  28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. People will often strive to meet your expectations.
  29. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Encourage improvement by highlighting their potential.
  30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Acknowledge your own motives and highlight mutual benefits.